I was looking forward to meeting up with everyone on Saturday.. I was looking forward to some sanity in my life..

Had such a crazy week.. someone resigned (haiz), so her work was dumped on me.. and it is ALOT of work.. and i have no knowledge about the subject matter at all..

Talk about tough luck.. I dun really understand what have i done to get all this shit.

Had listened to Zhiwen and told my boss, TWICE, that I don think i can take on the new project. Zhiwen's logic was that the first time you said something, people will listen, but not really absorb.
The second time you say the same thing, people will sit up and listen to you.

Well, at least i tried. Even rehearsed my speech.. but her "comforting" words when i said that she was taking a risk in me in doing this project was "Well, then you have to prove yourself la!"

Felt like someone just hammered me on my head.

I mean, why was I so stupid to even bother to bring up the issue to her, when i know deep down, she will not give me a positive response?

Maybe I was too stressed out ever since she gave me the bad news.

Maybe thats why my body was giving me all the negative signals and *poof* Fever was what i got on Friday night.

And according to my mum, i was talking nonsense in my sleep.. She was apparently concerned that the fever has sizzled my brain.

Maybe like what my colleague said, I am still in a denial stage over the new project i have to take on.. Damn big project anyway. A project which was handled by a full-time staff (the person who is leaving) and now it has become my "baby".

How am i going to cope? In the first place, my existing workload was already forcing me to go back late.. With this new project and nobody taking away my existing workload.. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE?

We tried very hard to convince the lady who was leaving, to stay. She loved her job and the project, but was torn between her love for her job and her family. It was a long struggle before she decided to quit.

I overheard someone telling her.

"Ultimately, its your own decision. Nobody can make that decision except yourslef"

And i am like, "ya, i can make my decision also, right? What's making me stay in this place?"

I don't know.

Am i like damn inefficient, or is the work just too much?

God knows.