There are alot of things you have to do,
things that you have totally no knowledge of
but people expect you to learn, ask and find out.

Alot of time,
the person who can tell you more about the domain knowledge
either is too busy
or really cannot be bothered.

But after many hours spent,
sitting in front of her
begging her to tell you more

you finally get some specifical knowledge of the topic

Still
the information is not enough
and
you literally have to beg her to give you some time.

When finally you get the high level data you have
you take home all the procedure manuals
spent time on the bus and at home reading
spending weekend writting a paper on the topic
trying to understand what the hell is happening in the process

you smile during your first meeting with the project team
with everybody giving you a
"i am not free, i dun understand why you wan me here, i am not interested n a thing you say"
look.

Worse,
your colleague, who happens to be your friend, is the worse attitude of the lot.

You were smart and you have priorly engaged a higher authority figure to sit in
in case they give you too much trouble

You cant help but notice the difference in attitude when your friend is talking to you against the higher figure

the higher figure tells you to have more confidence
but you tell him
"how to? when i don know a shit about either the process or what i am supposed to do"

He smiles and says confidence will do the trick.

You throw yourself full-heartly into the project
thickening your skin and askin the team members on the project as and when you see the friendlier one.

After weeks,
you finally think that you think you sort of know what is going on
and feel more prepared to do whatever presentations necessary for the project

And then she quits.

And because of that, you have to give up whatever shit you have been though, with both hands, to another colleague.
In fact,
the colleague happens to be the bad attitude one

Reason?
they say she is more familiar with my project than the quitter's project.

So you are just like a pawn

or a puppet

Going where ever your master tells you to

with no life

with no direction of your own

This is the second time you cry on the cab

And you are thinking

when is enough ever enough.